Montrose, Colorado and Torrey, Utah - Days 144-151 of 178 Day Trek

OK, gang, this one's going to be a short one ... You know, I don't really appreciate the sarcastic applause.
     Bygones.

     Wednesday, September 25, was a much more excruciating travel day than we had first supposed.  It wasn't that it was so far; it was the mountain climbs coupled with narrow two-lanes and roads under construction that made for some white-knuckle drive-time.  It took us nine hours to go 335 miles.  Keeping this big rig on the straight and narrow through these tight, uneven byways made for a bit of tension.  The only thing that made me smile on this particular road trip was passing a building with a sign out front that read, "The Feed Store Church."  I mean, was it a feed store or was it a church?  Or was it "TWO ... TWO ... TWO MINTS IN ONE!"?
     OK, maybe the drive was making me goofy ... goofier, perhaps.  Moving on.
     Montrose, Colorado,  has incredible scenery and natural wonders which include waterfalls, cliffs, forests, and majestic mountains.  We saw none of it.
     After 144 days on the road going full-speed almost every day seeing people, attractions, playing golf and softball, well, we were just plain exhausted ...
     There's that sarcastic applause again.
     We needed a stop just to do nothing.  So we did.  We worked very hard at it, and by 10 that night, were completely exhausted from doing nothing at 90 mph.
     WHEWW!
     The next two days went as follows:
-Thursday, September 26-Catch-up days, work on blogs, do nothing
-Friday, September 27-(See yesterday)

     All right, time to wake up and start doing some world-traveler type stuff.  With Old Mother Diedre's cupboard practically bare, we took off for the local Farmers' Market on Saturday followed by a town walk.  We love these small town walks; you always find some interesting stuff, and the walk is never much more than 3 blocks.

     Once at the Farmers' Market, I reflected back on the nutritional portion of this trip  (I know, what an odd thing for a virile hunk such as myself to be doing.  Stay with me.)  We've gotten a lot of great, natural foods, and not always from farmers' markets.  We've actually done quite well sponging off the largesse of ... surprise, surprise! ... our softball friends.  We got eggs right from the chicken coop at Bruce and Chris's in Brighton, Colorado; blackberries from Jim and Carol in Mount Pleasant, Michigan; blueberries from Lud and Lydia in Black River Falls, Wisconsin; and of course, from the massive farm of Jerry and Shiela in Frankfort, South Dakota, we got the essential element that sustains life on this planet ... Culver's Frozen Custard?!  You can probably see me right now smiling at you right through your computer screen.
     A town walk is easy entertainment for a mind as small as mine.  I smiled at shops with names such as "Tools, Sports, & Pawn", "Rod Rental," and "Discount Cigarettes" which, incidentally, included a drive-up window (well, of course smokers would be too lung-tired to walk up).  I was infuriated, however, by "Selig Avenue," named after one of the city's founders.  I, of course, related it immediately to baseball, more specifically Bud "Sleazebag" Selig, commissioner of baseball who is soon retiring before he ruins baseball altogether.  I mean, no World Series in 1994?!  Come on!  (Never say I'm not one to hold a grudge.)
     

718 E. Main, Montrose, CO

The city also had some great house architecture.  The home at 718 E. Main is on the historic registry list.  It was built in 1902, and is now one of my new favorite houses after the blue house in Ouray, CO, and the Lake of the Isles house in Minneapolis. (Refer to previous blogs from Ouray, CO and Minneapolis, MN for photos.) I've dreamed of owning that Minneapolis home since 1980.
     Montrose also sports a variety of incredibly large statues downtown on many of the main street corners.  Here's one of a bear and her cubs fending off attacking eagles; gee, the Bears versus the Eagles ... where have I heard that before?
     When we finally made our way back to home-sweet-RV, I flipped on the tube and what did we get?  Lucy and Ricky in "The Long, Long Trailer."  It cracked us up.  They just reminded us so much of ourselves.  Strangely, Diedre tended to act more like Ricky while I assumed many of Lucy's idiosyncrasies.  Can you say, "VITAMEATAVEGAMIN"?

     That night we took in two breweries, the Horsefly and Two Rascals.  The latter was housed in a 100-year old building that was formerly a children's clothing store and was now being run by Brandon, a 30's-ish retired fireman with an English girlfriend.  For dinner that night, I felt like having Italian, but Diedre said she was just starving for some Tibetan or Nepalese fare.  That's not all that strange for her ... she's known for strange likes in both food and men.

"Two Rascal" - Great brewery that we hope survives.

     We found "Guru's," a Himalayan diner.  I wasn't sure at first, but I eventually came around and actually liked the "Breast of Yak Bisque"; Diedre tried their "Yeti Souffle," but it was too wild for her taste.  And so it goes.
     Sunday, September 29, was yet another travel day.  We were on our way to Torrey, Utah, a place so scenic and lovely, in fact, that two friends of ours traveling with us, Dante Bichette and Betty Boop, decided to get married once we arrived.  They did, so she's now "Betty Boop Bichette."  Note that the Better Business Bureau won't let her use her new initials.  Anyway, they've taken up housekeeping on our dashboard (photo) where they keep an eye on the road for us.

I was concerned about how we were spending our time, so I made up a pie-chart of an average 24-hour RV day for Diedre and me.  It goes something like this:
     -sleeping:        7:30
     -eating:             :42
     -drinking:         1:06
     -sightseeing:    2:11
     -WAITING FOR THE &(@-#%&*  LITTLE BLUE COMPUTER CIRCLE TO STOP SPINNING AROUND AND AROUND WHILE I WAIT TO GET ON-LINE AT THESE CAMP-SITES: 12 FRICKIN' HOURS AND 31 MINUTES!!!
     Just a moment while I compose myself ... thinking of hot fudge sundaes, grand-slam home runs, fairies ... ahhhh ... there, all better now.

Diedre's legs covered with Afghan and Cats as she lay sick in bed.

     Monday, I dragged my suddenly near-death wife out of the comfort of her cat-infested bed and made her take the 1-mile walk to town for some sustenance, the term "sustenance" giving the locals all the best of it.  Too weak to protest, Diedre faithfully followed me to my choice of cuisine for the evening:  "Slackers' Burgers."  The less said about them, the better.
     On the morrow, Tuesday, October 1st, after we had been resting up for far too long, we finally got out of the campground and all its amenities (including their battery-operated sock warmers) for that eagerly awaited drive for a hike in a park ... a "National" park.  We were especially excited because it would be the first time we would be using our senior passes good for free admittance to all national parks, museums, and memorials ...
     only ...

     yes, you're way ahead of me on this one ... THE IDIOT FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN!!!???
     Really?!
     Weren't the soupheads in Washington at all aware that they could have put my 3-mile walking streak in jeopardy of being broken?  Fortunately, I was able to find the Torrey, UT, cemetery, thus completing my days walk for the 3rd time on this trip in a cemetery (See Emerald Grove, WI and Taos, NM).
     The government shutdown really affected us that day.  We were going to go to Capitol Reef National Park specifically to hike to the Hickman Natural Bridge.  With the shutdown, we were reduced to purchasing a postcard of this amazing act of nature.  We also had plans to tour a local national museum, but when we got there, literally tons of people (referencing the 35% obesity rate from a survey in that morning's paper) were milling about in the parking lot sobbing, gnashing their teeth, and tearing out their hair.  And it was no wonder!  We, too, were equally crushed by the first-time ever closing of the National Silly Putty Museum.  My Sunday funnies will never be the same.
    


 So our national park/museum outing had been reduced to stopping at roadside rests and parking lots and taking photographs as all the entrances were sealed off and blocked by armed guards who were, incidentally, being paid overtime.     I don't get that.  Somehow, this is still George W. Bush's fault.
     Here I am doing my best Mary Tyler Moore-on-the- Nicollet-Mall imitation at a cliff formation called "The Fluted Wall."  We have other pictures of Diedre imitating Ted Baxter, but they're no where near as haunting as me imitating Mary Richards.

     Unfortunately, the heartbreak of no national parks had other residual negatives attached to it the next day.  And all the rest and relaxation in the worlds was not going to stave off the coming plague.  For the first time on our trip, disease struck.  Diedre developed a cold.
     I'm bravely battling its effects, but just like the U.S. in Viet Nam, I fear the fall of Saigon (metaphor for my health ... I know, it's pretty sad to see an accomplished writer revert to his grade school mentality ... crayons not included) is near.  I mean, Diedre and I share everything, right down to my "Marmaduke" boxer shorts.  I'm keeping up my extra walking, taking massive quantities of Vitamin C and Flintstone Vitamins.  I feel as if the cold wants to attack.  I'll keep you updated with news from the front ... or at least, the back of the front.
     OK, today is Thursday, October 3.  We're pulling ourselves together and heading off for Mesquite, Nevada.  My time may be limited on this plane of existence, but duty, also known as "softball," calls.  Talk to you again next week.
     HI-OHH!